Overwhelmed by content? Create a matrix of discerning
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when our inboxes, podcast feeds, and and social media sites are teeming with educational material trying to teach us or sell us the NEXT RIGHT THING.
So how do you lessen the overwhelm? By really discerning whose voices you want to invite into your brain space.
In today’s episode, Amy is going to share with you her matrix of discernment concept and give you a peek behind the curtain at the exact matrix she uses to decide who to learn from.
Take a listen, create your own matrix of discernment, and share them with Amy in a voice note or email over at amykuretsky.com/podcast
Links and resources:
Join the Breathe Into Business Patreon to get access to the community Discord server, live events like group coworking, plus the private podcast feed with interviews, breathwork recordings, and more.
Join us there for a daily breathwork challenge this holiday season AND for a year-ahead virtual retreat live event on Jan 2nd-3rd with breathwork, journaling, goal setting, business planning, tarot chats, somatic practices, and more!
Record a question for us to answer here on the podcast!
Find transcripts to all my episodes here.
To learn more about Amy, head to amykuretsky.com
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[0:04] Welcome to breathe into business a podcast for folks who want to hear what it's really like to run an intuitive lead business,
I'm your host Amy kuretsky a breath work facilitator who helps service providers.
Creators and artists tap into their own inner knowing so that they can run businesses from a place of trust and self-confidence.
I created this podcast to help folks like you.
Who are disillusioned with the / culture of online small business building to permission yourself to follow a different path.
In these episodes you'll hear conversations that are,
messy and even a little bit scary at times my biggest hope is that each of these episodes helps you feel even 10% more confident in leaning into what your intuition is sharing with you and doing business your own way.
[0:53] Let's take a breath and talk business.
Hey y'all welcome back to the podcast let's,
let's just take another big breath I just took a big breath but let's take another one together and get a little grounded and little centered and,
start with today's episode so take a deep breath in.
[1:21] Big sigh out.
[1:26] All right one of the reasons why I always loved starting my episodes this way is because,
a lot of what I'm inviting you to do in this podcast
because yes this is a interactive sort of podcast in general
is I'm inviting you to think about your business and maybe even think about it a little bit differently than you thought about it in the past and that takes a level of.
Centering takes a level of groundedness to do I'm not inviting you to like be rushing through your day and then all of a sudden you know.
Sending you some questions that are a little bit you know more,
little bit heavier questions to think about in your business and I don't expect you to just kind of like be able to pull those answers out of a hat right away without feeling a little bit.
[2:25] More grounded a little bit kind of slowed down.
So that you can really be with your business and really be with these questions and let them kind of marinate in your body a little bit before it's time to really get inquisitive and see what wants to come through for you so.
[2:45] In case you're wondering that's why I always like to start this podcast this way but anyway so.
Right now we are in a season of overwhelmed.
Right I'm guessing that you're in a season of overwhelm I'm doing my best to try to not be in a season of overwhelmed but it is a little bit inevitable because
it's the holiday season whether or not you celebrate the holidays the culture we live in at large generally does and it permeates almost everything in our lives and that overwhelm can.
Come through into our business in a lot of ways but what I tend to see the most of is people feeling overwhelmed
by shoulds and supposed to choose whether it's like my clients or people in my patreon community or just like friends of mine who are business owners and even myself I've absolutely felt this myself.
[3:44] This time of year we are really inundated with sales emails and a lot of those sales emails are.
Psychologically really.
Trying to tell us that their product is the best product or that their course is the course that's going to teach you everything you need to know you know a lot of sales psychology comes down to you feeling like,
you have a problem and this person has a solution to the problem and usually if they're trying to be like really specific about it it's that their solution is the best solution for the problem
that you have so inevitably that is going to lead us to feeling a lot of like urgency it's going to lead us to feeling.
[4:32] Like we're lacking something like we're in adequate in some way and that we have this whole that only this person or this person's product can fill
and when we are in a bit more rounded centered clear-headed place maybe we're able to see like oh that.
Maybe isn't you know the full truth of things but usually because this season is so overwhelming our nervous systems are a little bit more activated like all the time.
So it can be harder for us to really be able to have that discernment and if you listen to the last episode you know that unlearning and Discerning is one of my like
top pillars for doing business differently and so I thought it'd be really great if we started.
Today's episode with really talking a bit more about discernment.
[5:24] And specifically how I have kind of created what I call a matrix of discerning when I'm deciding like what.
Voices or like what people what teachers that I want to invite into my mental space into my inbox basically like into my,
my life my energetic field whatever you want to call it.
Because I didn't quite realize this at first but I actually do have kind of this very specific.
Matrix that I've created that helps me decide.
[6:00] What voice is I want to invite it like what newsletters I want to sign up for what blogs I want to read what podcasts I want to listen to and.
There's a very kind of like specific organizational structure that I've created for that that I didn't quite realize I think I did it a little bit just intuitively but when I went back to reflect on it,
you know a long time ago when I was first creating the unlearning and Discerning workbook I was kind of thinking about okay how do I actually discern what,
content I want to consume and this is what I realized I did.
So anyway let's let's talk for a minute about you know why we feel overwhelmed first off it's because there's so much fucking content out there being created each and every day
about every single topic in the world I'm guessing that whatever topic you want to learn about there are at least like at least,
ten thousand blogs or podcasts or something about it and it doesn't matter like how Niche your content or like your topic is that you want to learn about or that you're wanting to consume content around
there's so much content out there if you think about all the places like all of the different.
[7:22] Sort of channels that content is being created on you know there's newsletters and emails that go to your inbox there's podcasts like this one that go into your ear buds there's all the different social media places like
Instagram Twitter Tick Tock LinkedIn all of those.
There's places where there's more longer form articles like medium or blogs or even like news feeds like traditional news media.
And there's probably even more that my brain and can't even like comprehend right now or bring up but.
[7:59] Just thinking about that you know take for a minute.
A second to like think about all the different places that you consume content on like a daily or weekly basis how many podcasts are you listening to how many times are you pulling up social media and what different social media channels are you looking at
um how often are you or how many newsletters are you subscribed to that are you you're reading on a weekly basis my guess is that it's
kind of a lot and maybe even so much that you don't actually quote-unquote like
keep up with it every week and that there are several weeks where newsletters go unread or podcast go on listen to you and my guess is that even though.
There's a limit to what we can consume on a daily or weekly basis.
There's really an infinite amount of content out there that is available for us to consume and that.
[8:56] That is partly what makes us feel so overwhelmed because there's a really normal.
Really human part of us that worries that like we aren't getting the quote unquote right answer that there is a quote-unquote better way to do something you know part of that wholesale psychology of making us feel like.
We aren't doing something right and that there is a right way to do it or that the way we're doing it isn't as good as it could be is always like inviting us to like.
Want more strive for more it's a very capitalist way of,
thinking about things in about selling things because we live in a capitalist culture but so this is all to say that shit feels fucking overwhelming like let's just leave it at that and so.
Like I said I realized a long time ago that not only,
can I not consume all the content that's being sent my way that like maybe theoretically I would enjoy but it's just not realistic for me to actually even try to consume all that content because I'm never going to actually do anything
in my business if I'm spending all of my time consuming other people's content I think for me the big realization was like.
[10:10] When I don't exactly remember like who I was listening to or how long,
it was but it was I had this realization where I was like okay I'm learning all of these really amazing things
but I don't actually have time to implement any of them and so I kind of put a moratorium on myself where it's like okay I'm not actually going to learn anything new until I've implemented and tested and,
you know received feedback on or data about.
This tactic that I did learn so it's like I'm going to learn something I'm going to implement it I'm going to see how that actually changes the dial one way or another in my business and then.
[10:53] Take that information go from there and when I feel ready learn about something new.
[10:59] But that's kind of hard to do when like so many in the podcast we listen to you or the newsletters we read our educational.
I mean this podcast is even educational in so many ways and so.
If we're constantly consuming educational materials without having time to actually put them into practice.
[11:17] It's totally normal for us to feel overwhelmed because we're going to be like okay well I want to do this thing but I have like five other things on my to-do list that I learned about recently that I want to do.
So this is all to say that we do not have time to consume all the content that's being sent our way let alone sit with it,
I understand it and even appropriately critique it because think about all the times that you've consumed content only to then like feel kind of shitty and we're going to get into that later.
[11:49] Okay so how do we actually lesson that overwhelm we do that by creating our own Matrix of discernment.
And I'ma put a little side note here,
I'm going to acknowledge that I realized I don't actually know if I'm using the word Matrix correctly here I was curious about that when I was kind of typing up the notes for this podcast and so I just kind of,
did a little Google in about the word Matrix in the definition and my brain kind of exploded and I realized that I don't know anything about mathematics,
other than what I learned in like high school algebra and trigonometry so
if you're out there with a PhD in mathematics and you're like Amy you are using the word Matrix very incorrectly I'm sorry I'm truly sorry feel free to send me an e-mail tell me what word I should be using instead I am here to learn
okay but anyway this is the terminology that makes the most sense in my brain it's what I use when I talk about it with my clients and it's what I'm using when I share it with you all today.
[12:53] So for the purpose of this podcast I'm kind of defining Matrix of discernment as a set of variables that need to be met in order for me to say yes
I want to invite this person this voice this newsletter whatever into my space and to learn more from them because like.
Truly let's be honest how often are we like lured onto somebody's newsletter list because of a shiny opt-in
that was free and that we wanted and that minute and we didn't actually know that much about the person creating the opt-in we were just like
shiny thing shiny object syndrome and we like sign up for the thing
only then to be on their list and to start to get some of their content and to start feeling a lot of shoulds and supposed to and other feelings of like unworthiness or unnecessary striving through their.
[13:51] I've absolutely done it I'm guessing that you have to and that's not because we've done anything wrong like the whole psychology of opt-ins is set up for this sort of behavior.
Somebody waves something like bright and shiny in front of you for free usually you know with that claim that this thing is going to solve your problem.
And of course your brain is like gimme gimme gimme I need this thing and it doesn't actually take a minute or two or three to like,
ask a few very simple questions to move us out of this sort of like survival Instinct of like.
Grabbing something and really into that more strategic place of oh like a regulated nervous system of like is this thing actually what I need in this moment to solve the problem that I actually have so.
[14:44] I'm not saying here that like.
I'm not hating on opt-ins basically I'm not saying that you shouldn't have an opt-in I use them myself in my business I have downloaded dozens of them over the years.
Options can be a really generous way to give potential clients a taste of what it's like to work with you without any upfront cost or commitment.
Um
I have an opt-in right now for this podcast you probably heard me talk about it before and you'll hear me talk about it at the end in the post real my own opt-in is like a video,
coaching or two coaching video and a workbook all about embracing the mess which is that like.
You know first basic pillar of doing business differently.
And when you download it you get a sense of how I teach how I share how I invite you to go deeper with your own thoughts and come to your own conclusions that work best for you and your business.
You know it's a really great way for my potential clients to get a sense of what it's like to work with me.
And I also like it because it allows me to lean into my value of radical generosity like I love being able to give that away for free.
[15:58] However,
I don't actually want every single person out here listening to this episode to download the free coaching module because I'm guessing that I'm definitely not the right coach for every single one of you out there
I mean there's a lot of you listening that aren't even business owners and that's totally great I love that you love this podcast I love that there are so many non business owners that
you know I sign up for my newsletter and that listen to this podcast and like engaging with my work and taking breathwork classes for me.
However when I do coaching work I do my best work with business owners so I really only want people who are business owners to be my potential clients.
So that's all this a like how should somebody decide if they want to download my opt-in and get brought into my content ecosystem.
Well by having their own Matrix of discernment and really seeing if my voice fits nicely within it.
[16:57] So going back to this idea of like a.
[17:03] Like Matrix being a set of variables that need to be met I'm going to tell you what my variables are gonna like give you a peek behind the curtain and tell you exactly the questions that I ask myself,
before I sign up for an email list or before I subscribe to another podcast feed.
[17:23] These are the questions that really help me decide who I want to intentionally consume content from and where I want to consume it so.
Let's get into them I'm going to start by saying that you know when you're making your own Matrix of discernment you really need to figure out what variables are like must haves,
and what variables are more like nice to have so maybe your Matrix of discerning could be as simple as like one question that is really important to you right now this might be especially true if you're like
new to business and you actually don't have a lot of experience or a lot of,
voices that are teaching you things right now and you're in a place where you really want to learn a lot from a lot of different voices.
Or maybe you've already been in business for a long time or you've learned a lot about whatever subject year.
[18:18] Wanting to dive deeper into and maybe your Matrix
is quite long and complex because you already feel overwhelmed from the number of experts or voices that are infiltrating like your inbox on a daily basis
so you really get to decide like how simple or how complex your Matrix of discerning wants to be
I'm gonna say mine's a little bit more on the complex side because I've been in business for a long time I've been on a lot of newsletter less than a lot of podcast feeds over the years and I've really kind of whittled myself down to a handful that I,
really not just like enjoy but actually feel engaged by so.
For me I always start with the what I consider is the most important question and the question is this.
[19:09] Is this a topic I actually need to become more informed about right now or am I leaning towards it because I'm lacking confidence and practice in my knowledge.
So basically is there an actual
Gap in my knowledge base around this topic I choose to start with this question because I have a tendency to minimize my own knowledge and my own intuition around certain topics and
like to give you an example you know I'm not that knowledgeable about SEO.
Or some of the more like techy parts of running a business and currently at the Acupuncture Clinic SEO is actually something that we really need to kind of.
Get better at especially as a local business especially as a brick-and-mortar business.
Um especially as a business that like needs to bring in a much higher level of Revenue every month because our expenses are much higher.
Ico is something that is going to be a focus of mine over the next year at the clinic but guess what
I have a pretty big knowledge Gap around that and so I'm ready to explore what are the voices out there who do I want to learn from what sort of
information do I want to consume about SEO so like I actually have a knowledge Gap around SEO so I'm going to learn more about it
whereas.
[20:36] As another example um there's a lot of stuff out there about tarot and I'm someone who has been a Tarot reader and a Tarot student for.
[20:47] What year is it now so for like about a decade now.
And I go through phases with Tara where I like feel like a student again and actually want to consume new content new content and like here new voices and learn new things,
but more often than not I actually have a really solid foundation when it comes to tarot and I don't actually need to learn a whole lot more what I need to do is actually feel more confident in my own,
intuitive skills around tarot and actually filter out other people's voices and really hone in on my own.
[21:22] Internal navigation system and like practices.
So that's something where like I'm really not going to be signing up for any new Taro podcast or Taro newsletters and I maybe we'll actually unsubscribe from some here there because I don't actually really
I'm not in a place where that is where my knowledge is lacking and where I feel like I need to learn something right now.
So that's just a little example hopefully that gives you an idea of what I'm talking about.
[21:51] Because yeah there are things where I really do have knowledge gaps and I need more information but there's also topics where I have plenty of knowledge and actually need a spending my time reminding myself of my like,
of that knowledge.
Have that like voice of if you're a Game of Thrones fan you'll understand this but like that inner voice of Ygritte
I think I'm saying that right Ygritte where she like pops out and she's like You Know Nothing Jon Snow because like more often than not that is the voice in my head where.
[22:26] You know there's that little Egret on my shoulder saying that I know nothing when really I do I know a lot about tarot so I just have to remind myself that.
[22:36] Okay so that's the most important question for me.
Once I've identified that I actually do want to learn more about a specific subject then I have a couple follow-up questions that are more rooted in.
My value system and making sure that the person that I'm going to learn from our that I'm going to sign up for their email list or like whatever consume their content in some way that like they're somebody whose values align with my values.
So those might be questions like does this person acknowledge the lineages that their practices come from.
Does this person cite their sources and named their own teachers that's like one of my biggest pet peeves is that when people don't cite their sources or name their own teachers it just drives me up a wall
and also does this person acknowledge where they might hold privilege and name the oppressive structures that we all live in under
um when they're working like do they talk about structural racism are they someone who lives with white privilege are they naming that,
um are they assist person living with this privilege are they are they taking into account all of the different.
You know intersecting identities that they may or may not be holding and that there.
Listenership for Their audience or their newsletter list may or may not be holding and that their identities might be different than other people's identities and so like what works for them might not necessarily work for everyone else depending upon like what privileges we hold.
[24:03] So that's kind of like my next level I just kind of get a sense of like if I go to their website where are they talking about any like what is their about page say.
All those sorts of things and then after I've kind of decided great this person has value systems that are aligned with mine,
then I have some more like just gut-check questions that I feel into so these are as simple as like.
Is this person claiming that their way is like the way like this is the best blah blah blah or like,
you know follow this follow this map and you're going to get to this place one hundred percent of the time like,
those things are just red flags for me and if I hear that it's like an immediate no no it's like I'm not the sort of person that does well with like having to follow directions
to a tee I'm very much a rebel and that way in that sort of Gretchen Rubin four Tendencies sort of like Matrix.
Once again might be using the word Matrix completely incorrectly but that's okay but so because of that I just don't do well personally with people who are saying like.
This is the best practice or this is the way that you're going to get to whatever mile marker you're trying to get to.
[25:25] Maybe for you you actually follow directions really well so that's something that you actually want to see in somebody's content you're like great give me the exact road map of how to get somewhere and I'm willing to follow your directions 100% in the time and like
if that's you more power to you,
another basic gut-check question is like so simple but it's does this person's content make me feel shitty
it seems like such an obvious question but we don't always actually tune into it,
because there are a lot of people's marketing out there that like makes us feel shitty which is like so ridiculous but is so true and obviously everyone's going to have a different.
You know gauge of what makes them feel shitty and I also want to really put a caveat here that like there is a difference between feeling uncomfortable and feeling shitty.
[26:18] Like for me as a white person who lives with white privilege
I'm willing to feel uncomfortable when it comes to unlearning white supremacy and like seeding power like that is an uncomfortable topic and it's going to feel uncomfortable for me but it is.
Something that I'm more than willing to feel because it's important to me to unlearn white supremacy.
However if I'm like listening to a podcast about money and they're talking about like.
[26:49] I don't know the law of attraction and all of a sudden they're making their like saying something to the factor like making me feel in some way that,
you know my own history with autoimmune disease or like multiple surgeries that I like somehow brought that upon myself like that's a hard no for me like no I don't believe that that makes me feel shitty I'm not engaging with this person's content
so there's a difference between being uncomfortable and being you know feeling shitty so note what that is for you.
[27:19] And then lastly I have some really like.
They're just kind of touchy-feely questions they're not really logical or tangible but they're ones that I do.
Respond to kind of without thinking they are ones where I'm like oh I'm not like laying out these questions individually but they're they are back to kind of more of those gut check things so,
it's like do I like this person like
do I feel a residence with them are they somebody that I'd actually want to be friends with and have a conversation with over a cup of tea do I enjoy the content that they're making really questions that you're just going to kind of.
Immediately either be like yes or no with somebody and you're not really going to be like do I want to be friends with this person
but so you know that's a peek behind the curtain those are all the questions that I ask myself when I'm deciding if I want to consume content from a new person.
Um you know in the beginning after I really realized that I had these variables or these questions I actually kind of like wood.
Look I actually did look back at like who am I consuming content from and very intentionally ask these questions and it really did help me Whittle down my own.
[28:42] Sources of content which then lowered my feeling of overwhelm because it's like.
It was easy for me to then like unsubscribe from five to six newsletters right then and there because I was like oh I mean I like this person and they are values align but like right now I actually don't need to learn more about this specific topic and by getting their newsletter it makes me
feel like I need to learn more about it when that's not actually true for me in this moment so like.
I like this person but I'm still going to unsubscribe right now because this content isn't actually
helpful for me in this moment and if that changes in the future I always know that I can re-subscribe that's totally fine and I'll say you know as somebody who has a newsletter list like
my goal is not to have the largest number of subscribers out subscribers out there.
My goal is to have people who really want to be there and to read and to learn from those things because they're actually helpful in that moment so like.
I'm Giving You In This Moment full permission to like.
Unsubscribe or from this podcast or from my newsletter or whatever if my content no longer fills a knowledge gap for you or is supportive for you and your goals right now like.
[30:00] Because I don't want to just be one more voice making you feel overwhelmed right here in right now so.
What about you you know are you feeling overwhelmed with media consumption right now are you feeling like a matrix of discernment for yourself would be helpful you know if so
how would you change the Matrix to be more
appropriate for your own needs like what are some of the questions that would be in your own Matrix I'm truly curious I would love to know maybe you have a question that is just going to like
make my heart soar and I'm going to want to add it to my own Matrix,
I don't know we'll see please feel free to share them with me send me an e-mail leave me a voice note through Pipes Peak over on the podcast page that Amy kuretsky.com / podcasts I really do want to be in conversation with you about all of this
so
I do hope that this episode helps you even like five or ten percent feel less overwhelmed in your own inbox or your own podcast feed or anywhere else where you,
have more voices than you actually want to be listening to.
[31:16] So that's what I've got for you today thank you so much for being here and I'm excited for our next episode we have our first interview guests and it's a good one so,
be back here in two weeks and look forward to it then bye thanks so much for listening today,
if you liked this episode or even if it just got you to think about your business a little bit differently.
I'd love for you to subscribe to the show and share it with a business bestie or a few of them.
[31:49] And if you're interested in giving yourself a bit more permission to get messy in your own business.
Head on over to the show notes to download my free coaching module on embracing the mess,
in it I share my thoughts invite you to write and reflect and offer some actions you can take to start embracing and loving the Messier parts of yourself and your business.
[32:12] Breathe into business is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Dakota and anishinabe peoples.
It's created by me Amy kuretsky with the production help from softer sounds Studios thanks again for listening and breathing into your business with me today.
